my desire; my fight.

i cant even begin to explain how i feel. just one of those moments when all the good in your life hits you at once. i love my boyfriend. i love my best friend. i love all my dear friends, my dear mother. my grandma and siblings. all my family. i am so ridiculously sorry i falter and that sometimes im a brat and let our friendships, and relationships slip through the cracks. im thankful for my sweet savior for saving me and my ungodly flesh. i am thankful that i am loved, that people believe in me, that i am strong, that i wont settle for complaceny, that i wont give up on myself or others. god i tell you now in front of everyone how beatiful this life is. see the good in today, learn from yesterday, strive for tomorrow. not happy? change it, today; not tomorrow. i love life & god, i could thank you forever for the happiness in my heart right now. thank you for reigning your blessings upon me. thank you for what i have had, what i will in the years to come. let me see everyday as an oppritunity to change something new. let me see new day as the prime time to make happiness for someone else. oh god use me. let someone see the happiness smile to brighten their darkness. let your light shine through me to illuminate their sadness. god thank you.

Literally disgusted. Fuck this shit & fuck you & fuck you again. Goodnight.

loveismycommandment:

Where did we get this idea that God is scared off by our brokenness?

How did we come to believe so strongly that somehow, the mess of our lives is enough to offend Him, is enough for Him to want nothing to do with us?

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I’m gonna push everyone away because their closeness scares me & in the end I don’t want what I wanted in the beginning. Go me & my indecisive spirit.